Say Word...

For those not in the know...this young lady has enchanted me these past few months...

She's put a smile on my face and joy in my heart [No Rod & Tod Flanders].

Ups & downs galore, lots of smiles and a few frowns. The pursuit of romance is a winding road.

These pics were an anniversary present from me to her, but really I enjoy em as much as she does. [Photography by Roselyn Fortuna / Some editing by me]

Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!

PS I was trying to fit in an Austin Powers 'That train has sailed' reference, but I just couldn't.

Fauxtography Part Two

#1 Rafa & Daisy
#2 Sunel & Bernie

Fauxtography Part One

For your viewing pleasure, some photos I took this past weekend [extending into last night]. I'm no photographer, but I have some Photoshop knowledge. In addition, the lil homie Unik Photography was kind enough to bless me with a processing action from her bag of goodies. Add a few touches by your fave fauxtographer and you get some fun looking b&w shots. Enjoy.

In order:
1) Elsita & Heri Jr. 2) Sunel, Elsita & Daisy 3) A&J [cutest pic ever, right?] 4) A & her mommy Melissa 5) Axel & Dayna 6) Mrs & Mr. Garcia & their daughter Cristali 7) A homeless gentleman I treated to a 7Up.

So maybe not?

Wake Up and Smell the...SANCOCHO?!?!?

I woke up about an hour ago and smelled some delicious smells coming from the kitchen. Apparently my cousin and her hubby are coming over later and my aunt is preparing sancocho for them. [Dominicans will complain I'm sure, but this is PR style sancocho...that's right...TOMATO SAUCE MAKES EVERYTHING TASTY]. Will post pics of the bowl...if I get one.

Caught in the rain

I have about two months of posting to catch up on. So I'll give you the approximate date each of these things happened.

This happened on Wednesday 8 October.

I went to Yauco Plaza, walking of course, as has become my custom [gotta slim down somehow!]. I handled some biz, bought some essentials [grapes, peaches, Cracker Barrel cheddar, Diet Wonder Kola Champagne]. And as has also become my custom, I had a long phone conversation via handsfree headset x LG Rumor x Sprint. And while I'm on the phone with my mother dearest...it starts to rain. A few drops at first.

Everytime I've ever gone out, I've beat the rain.

Sometimes it's by five minutes, sometimes 50, but I've always beat the rain home [this is of note since I walk almost everyday, and it rains ALMOST EVERY DAY]. So the few drops, multiply into a light drizzle. Then into a steady rain. Then the powers that be turn up the throttle and open the nozzle and we're talking torrential downpours. A mini waterfall forms on the hill I have to climb. The last 10 minutes of walking back home are ALL UPHILL. And it's dark. And I have two full plastic shopping bags [single, not double which I will rant about later]. Looming disaster is almost certain. At the very least I'll fall at least once.

Then a car pulls up. Here, they'd call it a 'guagua'. In the states it'd be a small SUV. I didn't get the chance to ask dude for his title, but I'd bet it was a Suzuki of some kind. He looked a little shifty, and a little 'influenced' [and I do NOT mean liquor]...and was shirtless.

I looked at him, looked at his stock fabric upholstery and told him, 'I'm all wet, I don't want to mess up your seats.' He insisted I come in...without asking where I was going.

If you look at my 'Hard 4 Da Streetz' pics, that's actually exactly where I was when he picked me up, about 10 minutes away from my house. So driving it's about 1-2 minutes. He explained he was on his way to Super Colmado Willie [a place I frequent as well], and I told him I live 5 houses before that. DEAL!

He explained he lived in the hood [Barriada / Urbanizacion for those from PR] by the river. When it rains, it's a coin flip that you could lose everything. Bad community planning by the developers, but hey, you gotta live somewhere right?

So basically, in this driving rain, a man with a potentially flooding house was driving up to the bar to hang out, kick back a few, and managed to give a soaking wet fat man a ride to his home while being friendly and talkative as hell
on the way up.

Kudos to you, my white, long haired, shirtless, scruffy Puerto Rican friend. Someday it'll be me in the Suzuki and you on the street...the passenger seat is all yours.

I finally got an SD card.

So I'd ordered an SD card on eBay. 4GB, 12 bucks, free shipping...I can't lose right? Well they shipped from Hong Kong...and the card didn't work. So yesterday I'm at Kmart, waiting on the longest & slowest customer service line EVER...and I'm looking at the circular. They had 1GB SD cards for 10 bucks. I bought it...IT WORKS!!! So here for the first time...my room, my house. Okay NOT MY ROOM, NOT MY HOUSE...my current quarters and residence. How bout that?

Blog Neglect is a crime

I know I've neglected my blog...but I will be back, I promise!!

So this is the first REAL blog entry. I'm here in PR, sitting in my aunt's dining room. They're watching TV, I'm about to finish off a project for work.

I got in last night about 4.30am.

I flew Jet Blue, which is itself a great airline, but we landed at Mercedita Airport in Ponce, which smells like sulfur (rotten eggs & burnt tires all rolled into one, for those not in the know). Two baggage carousels. Annoying fellow countrymen & women.

On the plane I sat next to a woman who was so annoyingly nervous that I was ready to smack her. I understand people get nervous when they fly, but how does that translate at staring at EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING and constantly pushing up and looking back when you hear people talking and leaning over me to look forward, and trying to look at my notes that I'm reading? You're 60, not 6!

The oj and biscotti was satisfactory and familiar...and then...here I am.

I went to sleep at 5.30am, woke up five hours later to unpack and get started. Went through 30 days of mail that was held once I left Lefrak. Apparently ConEd has set dogs and mobs with pitchforks after me. Sucks for them, I doubt either of them can float across the Atlantic.

(Wow, this is ridiculous. I've heard about 5 reggaeton based commercials. It's like remixes to the Optimum Online ads we have in NYC)

I walked over to the local sports bar / bodega. Ice cold Heineken, empanadilla, bottled water...3.50. AND they had SNY on the big screen. There's a barber shop across the street, they say the guy is good. I went up the road to the real bodega. It's a bakery too. The goodies look tasty, but 2.14 for a Sprite Zero 2-liter? What is this, a New York pizzeria?

So my aunt recommended I look at a supermarket ad so I can see what prices are like down here. Rock on, titi, rock on!

Anywho...I got work to do, then I'm gonna try and walk to town (should be a half hour walk lol but oh well)

A morbid poll

In the 37 states and federal government that currently have death penalty statutes, five different methods of execution are prescribed: Lethal Injection, Electrocution, Lethal Gas, Firing Squad, and Hanging.

I've asked my friends about what method of execution they would choose...

And their last meal.

Here are five of my friends', and my own.

Mine: Firing Squad

• Arroz con gandules (PR style rice w/ pigeon peas)
• lasagna
• garlic bread
• a BBQ Double Cheeseburger from Five Guys with fried onions and mayo
• Cuban style ham croquettes
• Cucumbers with ranch dressing
• Ice cold pink lemonade
• banana milkshake

Franklin: Lethal Injection

• Lasagna
• Rice & beans

Jamie: Lethal Injection

• Turkey Cheeseburger

Andres: Gas Chamber

• Churrasco from Rancho Jubilee
• White rice
• Red beans
• Tostones
• Green salad
• Avocado
• Lemonade

Mario: Lethal Injection

• Cheese soup

Joel: Firing Squad

• Steak & Eggs platter from Presidente

Call me crazy, but now I'm pretty hungry.

All my buddies are law-abiding for the most part (well, they're not being charged with violent crimes, anyway) so this is more of a last meal post...but there's a funky black humor twist added.

Yesterday...

Wow. Yesterday was fun.

Wake up...right around noon, just knew I had to be in Compton soon! Oh wait...that's Eazy-E's day...about 20 years ago lol.

I did wake up later than expected. Got some work done.

Got one of my cravings out of the way at Hummus Place. So good. We're talking, last meal, roll up your sleeve so they can put in the lethal injection needle, GOOD. Hummus with two whole wheat pitas and five falafel balls, two lemonades, brought to me by the sweetest foreign waitress EVER.

Met up with my boy Danny and went to Shea stadium, where I met up with Karla, Denisse, their cousin and their buddy Shane.

We watched the Mets keep the streak alive (seven games, whooo!).

Ate at La Brisa (okay, so that's plus one on the naughty eating scale). BBQ chicken (Good call, Rudy!) and arroz con gandules.

Met up with Juan and Mario, drank some E&J. Danced to house music on the street with some random white girl in front of DJ Lenny B's mixtape stand.

Talked with some random Iranian dude who was really cool.

Got a free newspaper from a Post truck driver who then told me about the power of Jesus and the holy ghost.

All I can say, in my best Frank / Entertainer voice (it'll make sense in a second)...

"I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE NEW YORK!"

Where else in the world can you do all that? Really, where? It's a unique city that I'm celebrating a month of "one more times" with.

Food Cravings!

As a large fellow, I've come to realize...many of the times I chased down food (you know, "I'm in the mood for ice cream!" "I'm in the mood for nachos!" etc) it was over a stupid craving that probably would have passed in 10 minutes.

I've heard from diet / nutrition / health experts that the average craving lasts about five minutes. And that's true. You see a Long John Silver's ad, and fish and chips sounds like the way to go.

I've definitely had those quick "must have" cravings...but I've genuinely been in the mood for the following things for the past week.

-garlic bread
-falafel / hummus
-boutique candy (you know the shops with the bins of stuff) especially gummi alligators, gummi cherries and gummi blue sharks

That's about it. Everything else just comes and goes. So the moral of the story is that, I need to go to a pizzeria, get garlic bread, then go to Bereket on Houston and then go to the SeaPort's candy store.

Who's down?!?!? Of course this offer is post dated. Or maybe...maybe someone wants to join me Sunday or Monday for falafel?

Seven Hispanics in a Hyundai

The last time I was with seven people in a car, it was a Yukon. It went pretty well, I anchored the passenger seat, there were two couples in the back, allowing for optimum lap seating. Of course, it wasn't the same comfort two cars would've provided, but we didn't find the need to complain.

Last night...wow...

There was somewhat of a misunderstanding (I'm going to leave it at that...some people know the full story and my feelings on it) and I was separated from my crew that was going to Remedy Diner on Houston.

I was on 63rd and Broadway, and my friends came back for me. I was initially told the car was full, and to be prepared to squeeze in. There were six people in a Hyundai. Someone was sitting backwards...it was a modern clown car.

Eventually I drove, while my boy Louie rode in the trunk. Honestly, I don't think we'd have had a better time. Sure, I wasn't cramped in a small compartment with a shovel, as we rode over potholes. I didn't have another dude on my lap. I didn't have a girlfriend's mom draped over me. But we were all just cracking up throughout the 60 block drive.

Now, honestly I know I'm not unique in this experience, although I doubt any of my American friends have done this.

But really, I write about this because of how this made me feel.

I was in a HORRID mood when they came for me. I mean, bad bad bad bad mood. Somehow, my friends INSISTING on coming to pick me up, knowing that it was going to inconvenience them further by having to drive through Columbus Circle again, and then squeeze in the biggest guy in the car when there's really NO ROOM...that made me feel good.

What I was mad about before, melted away.

Which makes me think? Can money replace emotion? You think about corporative leaders, athletes, musicians who alienate themselves from the common man and old friends. Their best friends to them, are the who ones who (in the eyes of the money-holder) lust after their money the LEAST...bodyguards, other rich people...

At some point I'll blog about what I'd do with a large windfall, but this is more of a question posed to the rich.

You, rich man? Did your thousands and millions make you happy then, when you first obtained them? How about now? Do your Franklins make you laugh? Do your McKinleys play hoops with you? Or do you keep your friends locked away, emotionless?

Do we really envy Jay-Z? Lil Wayne? Bill Gates? The Walton Family? (Think Wal-Mart, not bad basketball commentary.)

Something to think about.

It's 4AM in New Jersey

So I'm at the Jersey Shore (Brick Township).

I'd love to be at the diner of my dreams with the following items in front of me:

Boneless buffalo wings (the ones from Applebee's)
Chicken Nachos (the ones from Tres Potrillos)
Cheeseburger (the one from TGI Fridays)
Waffle fries (the ones from Pop Diner)

Instead, at 3.45am, I washed a blender at the house where I'm staying (Shouts to Doug!) and made my final protein shake of the day...

Of course, I did it so readily because this is pleasant compared to the past few hours.

We went to this place, Jenkinson's by the water. Place is huge and guido-filled. Dudes I'd have trouble tipping over on a football line in shirts I'd have had trouble fitting into at age 3. Hair gel so abundant, Paul Mitchell could bathe in it.

The DJ was horrid, playing cheesy house remixes on some computer software nonsense, trying to "hype" the crowd. There was a cover band...I'd never heard "Thanks for the Memories" live, but it was nice. I guess it was like a live jukebox that charged 10. Because the rest was crap.

Esteban had some food, an italian sausage sandwich he liked as he ate, but hated as he finished. Eddie and Doug ate pizza without complaints. I waited patiently for my shake.

So we leave...go to some friend of Eddie's house. Total waste of time.

Leave for home...and get...pulled...over. (After it was all said and done, I was pulled over for not stopping completely at the sign).

I was super polite to the young officer, I hadn't had a drop of alcohol, squeaky clean record...he worked with the system so I wouldn't get points and now I have to pay a seatbelt violation (I totally wear my belt at all times, including tonight).

So yeah...total crap.

But, I went to a pizzeria, restaurants, ice cream shops, candy shops...didn't crack once...

Remember, without struggle, there is no victory.

Is Crunch a Gay Gym?

Well I was just thinking? Is my new gym a mostly gay gym? Lot of light steppers there. Well I'm not their type. Does anyone know if Crunch is the rainbow flag flying fortress of fruitery?

I know a few gay dudes and dames. They always treat me with the utmost respect. I don't agree with their lifestyle, but they probably wouldn't live my life either.

So you know what? They're cool with me. I'm cool with them. I'm not spending the night, but I'll work out with you.

So now I'm wondering if I'm gonna see anything wild in the locker room.

Feeling Lost vs Partying Up

With Operation Wepa off to a decent start...I want to "let my hair down" this weekend. I heard of a BBQ / Party in Far Rock, I heard about Robert Moses tomorrow...there's a girl or two I'd like to see this weekend...

I'm feeling lost a bit though, when it comes to non-fun activities. It puts a damper on my fun-meter (One flag! Six flags!) Maybe it's just because I woke up. Everything in my life is so suddenly different.

• I went from having one of the quietest roommates in history to one of the most talkative. (See photo)
  

• I went from all spanish people to all american people surrounding me.

• I went from having a million people in my house to...well, that hasn't changed, it's just different people with Esteban being the common denominator LOL.

• I went from living in working-class Queens to snobbish East Village. Of course it's only temporary.

• I went from having a loving cat to...nothing.

• I went from Powerhouse Gym to Crunch...which is cool because they have a sauna.

Basically, it's a totally new change. And even though I still have all of my friends' numbers in my phone and the same area code, I feel separated. And this is in the same city. Imagine being in another...Commonwealth (Virginia is too I think).

Something to adjust to gradually as I prepare for the big jump to La Isla Bonita.

Never mind the ickiness I may temporarily feel, for I accomplished a lot yesterday.

I went to the gym, blasted out a lot of work, and went to bed early! Potentially missing something fun with my Queens friends and DEFINITELY missing something with a hot new friend...she kept calling and texting...and I was ASLEEP. Bummer.

But it's the weekend! And have fun I shall!

A Survey I got from Lucy aka New Jersey Kim

the phone rings; what is your ring tone?
Some Sprint digital ringtone...just lets me know I'm getting a call, nothing snazzy

Who is your last text from?
Joolie =]

Favorite drink?
Water for now

Where are you right now?
Mario's living room, aka my room for a month

If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?
Nah I probably wouldn't

Last time you had a sleepover?
LOL two days ago I guess, Franklin was on the couch

Latest you stayed up in the past week?
In the past week? I think 4?

What are you doing?
I just woke up, so nothing...hit the men's room, took my pills...that's it.

What is the last thing you said aloud?
You know, I don't think I've said anything since I woke up...weird when you think about it, since it's been a half hour. I guess it was when when Mario was asking me if I was going to bed already and I just said "Yeah I'm exhausted" or something to that effect.

What did the last text message you sent say?
Direct quote "Did you make it to Pacha?"

Story behind your MySpace song?
Well I have 5 of them. They're songs I like, that I've edited down. And the Fulanito one, I know them personally and they did a lil something special for me a few years back so I always support their new tunes.

DESCRIBE YOUR :

Wallet?
It's black, money clip on the outside, plenty of sliders / pockets and an ID window

Eyes?
Brown like super dark brown though

Life?
Moving forward

WHAT ARE YOU:

Wearing?
Gray t-shirt and cargo shorts (I got them as a gift...awww)

Wanting?
Complete health

Listening to?
The A/C

What do you smell?
Nothing really

Do you sleep naked?
I have before but it'll probably be years before I do it again

Do you like seafood?
Yeah it's pretty good I limit myself to the basics, fish, shrimp, crab, lobster, oh yeah octopus and squid...not a big mollusk fan personally

Do you remember your dreams?
Yeah for some reason lately I do too, Lucy (LOL I got the survey from her)

Do you speak another language other than English?
Español

When was the last time you really laughed?
Yesterday...this dude totally jumped when someone got in his way...tré faggish

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Yeah, but consequences are inescapeable...sometimes you get a good plea bargain though =]

Status of you and the person you last sent a text to?
He's my boy and fellow house head. Always a fun dude to chill with.

If you could work at any clothing store, which store would you pick?
Turntable Lab

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
No idea...
According to MySpace, I messaged Jaynn, but I really have no clue who I commented on.

Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
It'll probably be Mario when he wake's up...too early for calls for most people

When is the last time you talked to your father?
Been a few weeks, I think he called...I gotta hit him back. I love my dad...I think being 3000 miles apart helps.

Do you drink milk straight from the carton?
No!

What's going on this week?
Party tomorrow, beach tomorrow...all kinds of stuff I really have no idea. What's going on today? and what happened last night that I had 3 people saying call me ASAP? Those are the real questions lol.

What's your favorite age so far?
10th grade, obviously

What will you be doing on Valentines?
No Idea...apparently me and Lucy will be picketing outside of Victoria's Secrets and flowershops in the Tri-State area...DIGALE NO A SAN VALENTIN

What will you be doing in 6 months?
Being ultra Puerto Rican

What are you about to do?
Start the day...take some more pills and work

I miss my son

I know I'm super busy and there's only a handful of people reading this but...

I miss my little boy.

Tiger is now staying with his Uncle Danny who loves him just as much as I do.

I guess to Tiger he was just being himself, but to me he was my little buddy. Gay, weak, stupid as it may sound...

I'd talk to Tiger when I was blue...I'd tell him why I was pissed. I'd tell him when I was going out with a girl (usually with the phrase "let's see if we can find you a new mommy"). I'd get angry with him when he knocked something over, or when he'd pee somewhere he wasn't supposed to.

But I'd give anything to clean up his little messes or pick stuff up that he knocked over. And it's only been a day.

I guess it's just different people feeding him now and new places to sleep for him. For me, it's tears in my eyes as I type this and the hope that he can come to PR in a few months...I miss you baby booby.

And if you're think Kent is a weakling...get a cool, cute, awesome, unique cat and then give him up. Tell me how you feel then.

Opening Credits

You know? Opening credits like in the movies?

This is Operation Wepa...starring Kenny Fiesta.

Why Operation Wepa?

Well, I'm Puerto Rican...when we get excited for good things or bad..."wepaaaa" comes out. That and...I'm moving to Puerto Rico.

I don't want to mention clichés like "I'm moving on with my life" or "This a new chapter in my life". The honest truth is that, if I were writing my autobiography, this trip to Puerto Rico probably would be a separate chapter. But really it wouldn't be worth mentioning if it was for naught.

For now, I'm living in the city for a month on East 10th Street and 3rd Ave. The neighborhood is very nice, with many interesting people (read: hot girls and dudes with cool fits) to observe and many businesses catering to us (read: bars are open til 4am and are down the street). But I don't want to sound Hollywood (it's been less than 24 hours since I've been here and people are already accusing!!). Really my buddy Mario was nice enough to let me crash in his living room for a fee. But it means I have an instant gym partner, a million buddies to play Wii with and so on.

I'm starting a little personal campaign, here and now! Ready?

"Sin lucha, no hay victoria."

It's that simple. (For my non-Spanish readers, "Without struggle, there is no victory.")

Sounds fairly obvious, and I know I was trying to avoid clichés earlier...but hell, I need a motto. All the things I've acquired in life (notice I didn't say "have") I had to work for. My business, my DJing skills, my ability to inhale my upper lip and thus creating a waterproof seal for my nostrils...I had to work on it.

And everything I want now, in the next 5 years, I'm gonna have to work hard for.

What am I going to work hard for in the next 5 years? Here we go. (And by the way if some of my goals are foreign to you, either we gotta hang out more or you gotta stay tuned in to the blog.)

#1 Resculpt my body. The cuddly big bear look is out. The sinewy jaguar look is in.

#2 Establish myself as a force in the graphic design world. And I mean like Drew Struzan (he designed all the Indiana Jones posters...starting in 1981) / Crew Creative (does a lot of TV / movie design) / Jason Brooks (Hed Kandi posters and so on)...

#3 Focus on my bible knowledge. I know a lot about the bible and what it holds for us as humans and followers of the True God. But I've been coasting on autopilot, it feels like for a LONG LONG time. I learned a lot as a kid about God and it's in my heart. I've never fully deviated from what I learned. There's been bumps in the road, detours, maybe (to keep the "deviating from the road" analogy alive) but the final destination on my spiritual GPS has never once changed. (How's that for cheesy, huh?!?!) Hokey illustrations aside, I really take it seriously and I want to focus on the bible and it's message more.

#4 Retake my Puerto Rican-ness. I'm half Salvadoran. My mother is Puerto Rican and I got a lot of the fun-lovingness and some other Puerto Rican qualities from her. My dad is not a typical Salvadoran, but as much as he may try...the Salvadoran-ness shone through and passed on to me. Now here in NY I hang out with a lot of Dominicans, so my accent is Dominican (although one friend who I speak to a lot told me I sound mostly Salvadoran, with occasional Dominican outbursts). Me and my boys play around with the Puerto Rican accent, but it doesn't flow naturally. I guess after a few months in Yauco, I'll have no choice.

#5 Not find myself, not learn who I am...but just test out my personality. It's like...when developers test out a car. Sure, on paper and in the computer models, the car works. But it's not til they test it out, drive it over a few bumps and grind a few sharp turns that they really know what to adjust. And that's what I want to do. PR and NY are like day and night. If I really want to be an International Man of Mystery (wow, the cheesy sentence counter must be flipping) I have to adjust to any situation.

I have a lot of work to do, but I wanted to start off my blog. I know it's tradition to say a bit about who you are, and so on.

I'd rather let the posts that follow clue you in to who and what I am.